By Aaron Woods
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens,” said Helen Keller, and relocating with your children can be a new door of happiness for your entire family. Looking for a new home is stressful, especially after the trauma of divorce. Like any worthwhile endeavor, tackling it with a calm head and a motivated heart will help you and your family find the silver lining.
Start With Crystal Clear Communication
Set a precedent right now by holding a meeting with your ex and the kids before you decide on where you’re going and where you’re staying. You need to start with a meeting for two reasons: first, because it’s simply a matter of doing right by your children and their other parent. Second, because when your ex is thinking of moving, they’re more likely to consider you if you considered them way back when. Establish this communication early on and stick to it. Don’t let the kids be the primary source of new information, talk it out as adults.
Learn About Your New Quarters
Whether you’re searching for hip apartments on ForRent.com or in the market for a 10-bedroom mansion, don’t just throw your boxes in and shut down. Make the kids turn off their iPods and take the time to learn about the neighborhood. You don’t want your children to be stuck in self-imposed exile, and neither do you.
Take Their Opinions Into Account
Whether you or your ex have primary custody, show your kids the new place and talk to the ex about driving distances, schools and so on. Remember that the final decision is yours, and you have to do what makes you happy, but, part of that means taking your children into consideration, according to the moving experts at 123 Movers. This is a matter of both doing right by the people you care about and earning some goodwill so that your ex will do right by you.
After a breakup, it’s surprising to discover just how much stuff you have that you just plain do not need. Take your move as an opportunity to rid yourself of all of that and start over fresh. Craigslist and eBay are both great ways to get rid of all the junk cluttering up your life, and thrift store donations are a fine way to get rid of everything that you can’t sell. It’s not just a matter of physically uncluttering your life, but uncluttering it emotionally as well. This is a new start, so treat it like one. It’s a hokey cliche, but don’t hang onto the past, look to the future.
Finally, don’t let the weight of the move and the divorce crush you. Have fun, explore, meet new people, make new friends, pick up hobbies, find a new hangout. Don’t think of yourself as divorced, think of yourself as single. It may not sound like much of a difference but, in terms of your perception, it’s huge. You either see yourself as wounded, recovering from the end of love, or you see yourself as new, available and open to new experiences. It’s up to you.
About the author: Aaron Woods
Aaron loves his kids, building things and running a small HVAC company out of his Midwest home. He sets his own hours and writes about a variety of topics for fun.